Because I'm the Mama That's Why

Tip of the Iceberg

2010-12-06T07:58:00.000-08:00

Stitch and bitch

2010-11-09T05:51:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to teach myself how to sew. So far I have learned I still hate bobbins, I need much more space and the planning of projects is a lot easier than the actual sewing. I have a doz. or more projects mapped out in my mind but only one complete (pillow)and one mostly done, mess of a thing( library bag for Alison)

Made some jewelry. I like it, it's fun, don't know if I'll sell any ever but what the hell. I want to combine the sewing and beading and make some pretty things. Just kind of teaching myself at the moment.

Bible Thumpers at the Door

2010-10-18T12:01:00.000-07:00

So Sunday morning I'm trying to relax and these idiots knock on my door, wanting to save my soul from eternal damnation. You're grown men! You actually believe this nonsense I ask? They did. !One of the men said he asked Jesus to come into his life and he did. I asked "in what form? He didn't answer.I posed the morality question," If you come across a burning building and there's a baby inside, you know som how you can save the baby, would you?" "Of course" he says. "Then why won't God?" I ask. " He does" this guy says. No he doesn't! If he's all knowing and all loving why would he let the baby burn to death ?" No answer to my question just more babble about nonsense. Finally I say , well I wish you well but you are 2 very misguided gentlemen and shut the door.

It's time to get past the fairy tales, face reality and grow the fuck up. There is no God. Face it. How can people believe such nonsense? Pushing the bible as proof? What a bunch of violent contradictions that is. Why would anyone in their right mind take it seriously? Thats the baffling part. Idiots, people who are really dumb, that's understandable, but when you know someone that truely believes this load of crap, yet is sensible about everything else, it just boggles your mind. What the fuck? Makes you want to just shake them and scream wake up! You're too smart to be one of them, how did you get sucked into this complete bullshit!

I don't think people really believe it. They have been raised to think nice people do. Deep down they don't. If they did, they wouldn't behave the way they do, and death wouldn't be so upsetting. I mean wouldn't you be SO careful to not even have a mean thought in your head ,if you believed you were going to be damned to hell forever? I try to do what is right, because it is right, not because I fear God's punishment. And why the hell would you worship something that claims to be all knowing, all loving but if you don't do exactly as he wishes you will burn in hell? Death would be a celebration. If you truely believed your loved one was with God, forever, and in a few years you would join them, it wouldn't be a devestating occassion you would rejoyce! That's not what happens though, because people know deep down ,dead is dead and its all bullshit.

I'm so sick of all the hate in the world justified by religion.For example, the bible says man should not lie with another man. It also says kill your children if they disobey and we're not following that one! You can't say oh this book is fact and the gospel but pick and choose which "facts" you agree with. Youy can't have it both ways. The whole thing reminds me of a playground quarrel...my God is better than your God nyah nyah nyah.. Grow the fuck up people. The sooner we grow out of this crap as a species the better.

Yesterday I saw on the news , 21 catholic churches are closing. Good news.

IT IS TIME

2010-08-30T13:57:00.001-07:00

All Dressed Up And No Place To Go

2010-08-22T11:25:00.000-07:00

More Fun with the Canon

2010-06-13T12:12:00.001-07:00

Garden, Etc.

2010-06-10T18:55:00.000-07:00

Playing with flowers and my new camera. Gotta a new/used Canon and trying to learn how to use it.

Dave built a back exstention thing for us, works but it's painful. Gotta get in better shape. I'm way too fat and achey.

night time setting I think.

Driftwood from the BWCA.

Bad shot but my attempt to blend the reds and oranges blooming. I don't like orange but I have big healthy orange lilies growing from the previous owners. Nothing kills them. Might as well go with it.

In a week or so this should be an explosion of color. We'll see.

Goodbye Main Building

2010-06-03T07:17:00.000-07:00

This is my elementary school being torn down. Odd, I loved the building itself but hated school. I had a lot of fun playing there when school wasn't in session. Behind this is a railroad and a cemetary. If you follow the railroad a mile or so you'd come out right by the pool we belonged to. Walked those tracks many times, explored the woods. I'm probably lucky nothing happened to me. I knew it was dangerous but thats what made it fun. It was a different world then. We all road oue bikes all over town. The rule was I had to be home by dark. So different now. I wouldn't dream of letting my girls run around like I did. It's just not safe any more. Maybe it never was.

2010-01-17T16:06:00.000-08:00

Lottery Fantasy

2010-01-15T14:36:00.001-08:00

I have been addicted to Facebook the last year. It's lots of fun as many people know. I have reconnected with many people. Some old aquaintences that are becoming new good friends. Some assholes that I didn't want to know 35 years ago , let alone be annoyed by all over again. All this has led me to one conclusion. I want to have a party. Not just any party but a women only, old friends and new, kick ass falling down drunk party. Want to come? Damn that would be fun. The trouble is getting everyone here. If I hit the lottery I'd fly everyone in.

So Far 2010 Sucks Shit Through a Nose with a Straw

2010-01-15T14:16:00.000-08:00

Happy fucking new year! We're 2 weeks in and oh what fun. New Years Eve, home and sober and it was downhill from there. My blood pressure decided to have it's own little party and up to 180/ 120. Thought I might be a goner there for a while. Got myself to the doctor , on 2 medications, a few days later I started feeling better. Then a couple days after that the flu from hell went through my house. I'm still not over it completely almost a week later. Girls had it first, then dave and I got it Sunday. Just horrid, painful,and disgusting. This better not be a trend for the year.

Christmas 09

2009-12-27T06:23:00.000-08:00

Nice Christmas. We got a new video camera so didn't end up taking as many stills as we usually do. Too much going on. Girls got a ton of stuff and were thrilled. Dave and I got a few things we needed and a couple surprises. Our printer broke so we got a new one of those too. With Alison's sleep schedule off this was a welcome gift:

Dave's pies:

Sarah and her friend David:

Table looking festive with goodies:

Braving the snow in Christmas colors gear:

Girls enjoying suckers from their stockings:

Emily, Dave, Alison, didn't get a shot with me in it. Alison got her nights and days mixed up and dave and I were so tired by Christmas not everything got done. Oh well , had a good time:

Let it Snow!

2009-12-24T10:47:00.000-08:00

Did we ever have a white Christmas! Had a storm of "historic proportions" It snowed for 3 days straight. Close to 20 inches total. Just beautiful, fluffy big wet flakes.

Emily made a snow dinosaur for Alison:

Playhouse:

Front yard:

Emily and Alison having fun in the snow:

Down the driveway:

this on here twice I realise, too much trouble to remove.

Getting ready for Christmas

2009-12-24T06:05:00.000-08:00

Snickers:

Stockings are up!

Snuggling together on a cold morning:

It has been a wonderful Christmas so far and it's only Christmas Eve morning.

Hansen Tree Farm. We picked a tree, had a hay ride, hot chocolate. Nice time but thinking we should start growing our own Christmas trees.

We made lots of homemade cookies. chocolate snowballs, tollhouse, sugar cookies, peanutbutter nut,and some kind of oatmeal white chocolate. All very tasty, Emily and Alison are great little bakers. I have several of these antique tin trays , perfect for the holidays.

Emily decorates spritz cookies:

Had lots of fun decorating this year with the kitchen redone. Such a mess last Christmas with the remodel:

I tried out Dave's Grandmother's vintage cookie press. Spritz cookie recipe was so eaay, turned out great.

Made a wreath for the entry way. Looked so pretty for a few days then it fell down. Those dispoable hooks aren't as strong as they claim:

New Project

2009-09-21T05:12:00.000-07:00

It has begun. I'm taking over the garage. What a mess. Hard to believe 1 family can have so much stuff. I plan to have a big sale in the spring and turn that garage into a little shop. Painted furniture, vintage cool stuff, homeschooling and kids stuff. I worked on it , Friday, Saturday and yesterday. Found some cool stuff. Some old furniture that will look cool when I'm done with it. Little shelves I can paint. I really want this to work. I want my own money ,being my own boss, doing things on my terms. Friends are supportive and think my ideas are good. Sarah looked at me like I was crazy. It could work on a small scale I think and that's all I really want.We have lots of vintage cookware, canning stuff, clothes and toys. I think there's enough to get me started. I guess my husband knows if I'm determined to do something he should just stand back. I don't take no very well.... I can't? Just watch me ....I don't think anyone ever reads this but me, maybe occassionally...but if you're out there and have homeschooling materials, or good cool toys you no longer want send them my way...

Lots of Fun

2009-07-24T14:39:00.000-07:00

Local county fair. Not much of a fair but the girls had a great time. Pigging out on junky fair food is always welcome.

Alison watches chickens,

Minnesota Zoo.

Kichen is almost done. Bitchin' in the kitchen party:

We had our bitchin' in the kitchen party, went very well. A ton of good food and most everyone could come.

Yesterday we went to the zoo. The girls had a wonderful time. It was fun but the zoo it'self really sucks compared to Cincinnati Zoo.

Today we went to the stupid little county fair and spent way too much money for a bunch of crap. I don't think we'll go next year. On second thought if Emily is in 4-H we'll have to.

2009-07-09T08:34:00.000-07:00

2009-04-24T16:51:00.000-07:00

Oh The Joys of Remodeling

2009-04-20T05:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was painting the ceiling and suddenly spilled MUCH paint all over the place ,including all over our brand new range we don't even haver hooked up. Yesterday I spilled a whole big glob of paint right in my eye. I hate painting ceilings! This week we get the new counter tops, then it's finish painting and doing the floors and we'll be done. Getting close.

Shut the Fuck Up

2009-04-13T10:08:00.000-07:00

What the hell gave me the idea that remodeling the kitchen would be a good idea with a 2 year old and 7 year old around. They are both being major brats today and I'm ready to knock them into next week. As Cosby said, I brought you into this world I can take you back out.Yeah and don't comment on here that I'm an evil bitch for calling my children brats, and threatening their lives. All children act bratty at one time or another and today they're competeing for who needs to be bitch slapped the most. And yeah I don't actually slap my children so shut the fuck up about that too. It's my blog and if I want to bitch about my children I will. Neither of them are in danger of anything more then missing thier favorite cartoon so ,waah. Yeah I'm pissed, am trying to get a little work done around here and can't get a break from refereeing fights for 5 minutes. Emily's room looks like atornado hit so she is banned to her room until it's clean or no Martha Speaks. Alison has had a time out twice in a 1/2 hour , one for hitting and one for biting. If I don't write and vent I might just spontaneously combust.

One days accomplishments of a menopausal bitch

2009-04-08T06:41:00.000-07:00

Well got something done yesterday in spite of my hormones. Emily did a unit on birds, looking them up on the internet, coloring realistic color sheets, listening to their songs, reading her library books, and going to the park and trying to spot some of them. I liked it because it covered Science, Reading, Computer, phys ed and Art all in one shot. Alison got some much need exercise and loved the park.

I painted the new kitchen island black and it looks awesome. Can't wait for it to be done, Ran some errands, did some housework yada yada..

The biggest accomplishment was not biting anyones head off. I feel like shit. No one told me you could get PMS cramping, and hot flashes the same day. What's up with that? It's like the gray hairs and acne. One or the other but not both! Everyone pisses me off. Stupid commercials bring me to tears. I hate this aging crap. Besides the physical discomforts and body changes , it makes me think of time wasted and what I should've accomplished by 47. Geez. What a fool. Life is not a dress rehersal though, there's no going back and chaging anything. This is the life I made , I'm stuck with all my fuck ups. Not that I have a horrible life. I'm married to a good man and have 3 beautiful daughters, we're fine at the moment with this stupid economy. I'm very lucky in some ways. What if things did go to shit though. I was too stupid to finish my degree so if things ever change and I have to return to working fulltime it will likely be some shit job I don't want to do and I have no one to blame but myself. I spent 10 years , young, single, childless and did nothing but survive. No traveling, no degree, no hobbies, nothing. What the hell.

My husband calls this "mean o pause "and is threatening to move into the garage. I'm fine and then it hits me like flipping a switch. I hate the world, pissed at everything and just want everyone to leave me the fuck alone. arghh. I'll get through this and at the other side what do I get? Old age. Oh great, that sure motivates me to tolerate it....

Spring?

2009-04-04T06:55:00.000-07:00

Here we go again, another snow storm coming in. Arghhh. I like winter, better than summer so I haven't really been bothered by it like most people, but enough is enough. It's April now, time for spring flowers, good thunder storms, bonfires , getting the garden ready etc. etc. Hopefully it will be a long spring this year.

I am so behind on current events, entertainment and such. I just watched yesterday "Across the Universe" too artsy for some but I liked it. Growing up with Beatle music playing constantly probabaly helps. My brother Mike, 8 years older than me played Beatle music continuosly, in fact still does. It was the soundtrack to my childhood. Even at Christmas time. At school, around town, traditional carols were playing. At my house it was the Beatles.

Such a great time to be a kid. I had the run of that little town. I did things I would never dream of letting my girls do. It's just not safe any more. I wasn't much older than Emily when I would take off on my bike for the day. I had to be home by dark, that was it. I didn't have a cell phone to check in or anything. No way these days. It was a different time though, and a small town. 2 blocks from the house below was my Dad's house, and other few blocks after that was my granparents house. Any street I happened to be on there was someone who at least knew my family. I was safe, and I was convinced I could take care of myself anyway. Now days kids are pushed into day care at 6 weeks old, live in dangerous times compared to the when I grew up, there's no time for them to just be kids ( unless you homeschool) Sad they miss out on so much and pushed to grow up so fast.

As usual I have rambled away from my original subject but how much can you say about a fucking April snow storm anyway?

Fun Tresspassing

2009-04-03T09:25:00.000-07:00

See this stupid little corner table? My grandmother had that made to fit in the bathroom and it's still there. Why they took it out of the space it was made for I don't know. If i hadn't been flying I would've swiped it.

This is the garage that was the head quarters for all my little clubs. Looked a lot better in those days. Once Mike had a grill in there, poured a bunch of lighter fluid on it.."Lisa, watch this!" wooosh! Lucky the whole thing didn't go. If Mike said waych , you did, it was going to be good. When I look at the front of the house the first thing that comes to mind is Mike kicking a popeye punching bag and it sailing through that front window.

When I was little , from 7-14 I lived here. The new owners divided it into apartments , did nothing else for 30 years and now it's about to fall down. I did go through it and take pictures though.

Didn't mean to put double picks of the garage on here but don't have the time to fix it. Anyway, one of the apartments was opened so I went in

Spring!

2009-04-03T06:31:00.000-07:00

Looks like the weather is finally turning. I'm sick of winter. Not that i want summer to come. Just too damn hot and humid to stand. I'm hoping for a very long spring. Haven't been blogging much and want to get back into it. I'm trying to write and read and learn new stuff and distract myself from wanting to smoke. No I haven't managed to quit yet but trying to cut way down. Fucking $7 a pack some places. Why the hell don't they legalize marijuana and tax the hell out of it? It would wipe out so much debt, they could stop pouring money into the war on drugs. I guess I wrote about this a while back but nothing has changed. Decriminalize victomless crimes. Like gambling. If you gamble away your pay check that makes you an idiot not a crimminal. What the hell is wrong with people?

Anyway that has absolutely nothing to do with spring except it might be nice to have a joint to enjoy it. It seems to have finally arrived though and the girls can get outside and play.

Emily rode her bike without training wheeels for the first time yesterday. Just got on and went. Not a problem.

Mom

2009-03-11T06:35:00.000-07:00

Beverly Kay Robinson
Beverly Kay Robinson, 74, of Wilmington, died Feb. 27, 2009, at her home.
She was born May 7, 1934, in Wilmington, daughter of W. Riley Brown and Adah Qweneth Spencer of Martinsville. She was a devoted mother. While raising her five children, she earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and graduated summa cum laude from Wilmington College. She worked as a social worker in Clinton County and worked at Columbus State Hospital. She also was director of women’s studies at Edison Community College in Ft. Myers, Fla. She will be missed by many. An avid letter writer, she remained in close contact with a large circle of friends from Wilmington High School. After living in Athens for several years, she recently returned to Wilmington to care for an ill son. Brilliant and an insatiable reader, she was a resource of knowledge to all who knew her and a counselor to many.
She is survived by two sons, Michael Peelle (Margret Adams) Robinson and Nicholas Carey (Rebecca Wipkey) Robinson of New Jersey; a daughter, Lisa Ellen (David) Clampitt of Minnesota; five grandchildren, Sarah Robinson, Emily and Alison Clampitt, and Riley and Harper Robinson.
She was preceded in death by her former husband, Roger Peelle Robinson, and two sons, Matthew Spencer and Christopher Adair Robinson.
Arrangements are under the direction of LITTLETON FUNERAL HOME, 104 N. Jackson St., Sabina. For more information, visit the funeral home’s Web site at www.littletonfuneralhome.com.

My Favorite pictures of me that aren't me.....

2009-02-09T11:55:00.001-08:00

I wish!

Too funny

2009-02-09T07:57:00.000-08:00

Poor little Peen

2009-02-03T13:04:00.000-08:00

I've always thought circumscision was just a cruel and rediculous, so just had to post this when I came across it...

$125 Ticket

2009-02-02T07:42:00.000-08:00

For having a brake light out. Every hear of a warning asshole!

New Pantry Kicks Ass

2009-02-02T07:32:00.000-08:00

Defiantely making some progress. The new pantry is almost done. We'll need to take the doors back off and paint them and the floor still needs to be done. That will be last though. I have so much room in here. It's just great. Dave and i disagree about the trash can in. Yes it's out of the way, but I really don't want smelly garbage in there , furthermore it's just not conveinent. I think a smaller one under the sink in addition may work ..Recycling in there is fine though. Whatever. Minor detail..

New wall opening is coming along. Lots of progress since this shot even. It's almost ready to mud and paint.

If I do say so myself I did a pretty good job match ing the paint..New paint is on the long wall, old is where the clock is...

Can't weait until this is completed. dave is motivated to get it done to so then he can move on to car stuff. Once the kitchen is done I'm going to have the living room carpet cleaned again and maybe buy some slip covers. I have never paid for the sofas to be cleaned but may this time.

More progress with school work..etc..

2009-01-30T06:15:00.000-08:00

Emily is really reading and working so hard at her school work. Emily had a candy bar she wanted to eat so I made a treasure hunt for her to get it. She read and followed clues until she found the candy bar. She had so much fun and did a great job. Alison amazes me the things she seems to understand and know already. She's only 2. her development has been so interesting. She was definately a late talker, at least compared to her sisters, boy has she caught up! I'm so lucky and happy I can stay home and do this.

I had never heard of homeschooling as a child. I guess only religious fanatics did at that time. It would've made so much difference in my life. If I could change the past I'd have me homeschooled, some how get a horse, and never pick up that first fucking cigarette. Wonder how my life would be different now.

Homeschooling

2009-01-27T06:48:00.001-08:00

Emily's reading is really improving and she is eager to learn every day. Even Alison says "coolwerk pease" Emily is interested in Dolphins, ocean life in general, and human anatomy at the moment. Next month we start on astromony, and march I think is Women's histroy month so I'm working on some ideas for that. At the moment I'm reading From Eve to Dawn, by Marilyn French..Women's history of the world. 4 volumes . It took her 20 years to write it and it is very good. So much I want to across to my girls. Women's history has been largley ignored and I want it to be part of their education on a regular basis, not just women's history month. That's a good place to begin though I think. Anyway, homeschooling in general is going well. We have days that not much gets done but we also have days when we do more then planned so it all evens out. The girls are thriving.

Remodel

2009-01-27T06:36:00.000-08:00

Kitchen work is finally coming along. The new pantry should be complete this week and we can begin moving things in and freeing up the cabinets to knock down. Opening between the living room is framed up ready to be drywalled. It's actually happening. I can hardly wait until all this is done. I have moved so many times and this kitchen has been one of the worst I have ever have. Shortly it will be the best. In the mean time everything is a God awlful mess but we'll just have to live with it.

The first picture is the future pantry on the right and new refrigerator enclosure on the left. That will free up so much space! Orginally the closet opening here faced the other way and opened up into our living room. We kept all our bills, files etc there so now I have to find a new spot for them. Worth it though. Will improve the kitchen so much.

The second picture is of the new opening. That was solid wall. It changes the the whole feel of the house and i just love it. We're going to build a little breakfast bar on the kitchen side that folds down when not in use. Also as an after thought , it is the perfect place to set a beer when watching TV. Cool

The third pic is my color choices. I'm not painting any more red , just have that in there because so many of my kitchen things are red. Plus there's the large red wall in the living room. The paint will be similiar to what is in the living room. Not a faux finish though, just a lighter shade of that color. The countertop around the sink will be dark , and on the island we're building will be light to contrast with the black base. I think it will be very pretty when we're all done.

Sarah's earrings

2009-01-23T13:43:00.000-08:00

I made these for Sarah for Christmas..Forgot to get a picture so dug themn out of her room today..."stay out of my room!" I can hear her now....

A long month

2009-01-23T05:44:00.000-08:00

Has been awhile since I got on here but I want to keep better track of what's going on..Busy busy with this remodeling. I can not wait until this kitchen is done. We started before the holidays , then Dave got sick with a bad ear infection, then Christmas..etc etc. Finally we're back at it. Pantry is and refrigerator enclosure is built and primed. I need to put a second coat of paint on. Dave is ripping out the wall between the kitchen and living room this weekend. It will probably be weekend after next before that's finished and ready to paint. next we move on to the sink wall. Lots to do there....anyway it's coming along but will take all winter. I should've been painting this morning but hard to see what I'm doing before the sun gets up..

Homeschooling is going well. Emily is reading better is begining punctuation. Need to get back to doing her math more consistently. She has been learning about dolphins and tide pools for science. Alsions loves homeschooling too and asks to do "coolwerk" I give her coloring sheets or number and letter sheets to scribble on. She loves. Alison can identify almost any animal you show her. Not just farm animals and typical ones. Knows what a porcupine is, can tell you what kind of bear it is, knows and least a dozen different kinds of bugs. God she's smart. She has started having bad dreams at night though. Wakes up after her first sleep cycle scared and crying. One time she didn't even cry just was yelling" help mama I'm scared" pretty articulate for barely 2.

I have been trying to read women's history books. Got a couple Marilyn French books. Very intersting stuff I want to write more about at some point but no time now..Hard to find the time. I feel like shit lately and know it's from smoking but can't seem to stop. Going back to the tapering off plan. Maybe it will work. Constant internal power. If I could do one thing over in my life it would be never pick up that first fucking cigarette. arghhh...

Just What Does He Think He's Doing?

2008-12-15T07:55:00.000-08:00

I don't think so....

2008-12-15T07:39:00.000-08:00

Here is the famous American Girl doll, I don't know this particular doll's name but she is a cute doll and lots of little girls want her badly...Retails for about 100 bucks. I don't fucking think so.

Here is a knock off one. "Amanda" is her name, she is the same size, same look and retails for $13. That's more like it. I got both girls one, found a cute wooden doll wardrobe at an antique shop for $10. I"m still trying to make and find some little things for her. When all is said and done I'll have what looks like about $200 worth of American doll stuff for 1/4 of the price and an extra doll. Why do people thing they have to have some certain brand. Just nuts.

Tis The Season

2008-12-11T14:08:00.000-08:00

I love Barbie Art, found these kicking around......

Yep it's that time of year again , and I have found some twisted things online. I love the internet. Whatever sick thing you can think up ,there's someone else that has not only thought of but made some sick little creative knick knack... Barbie Rot here is at the top of my list for this years presents.

This is nice....knocked up stupid blonde...How about abortion Barbie? She could come with a coat hanger...Could have a little alley scene instead of a dreamhouse.

Actually I think this bracelet is kind of cool and bet Sarah would love it. I don't have enough dead Barbies to make one for her though. maybe next year if she's good...

The rest of these are pretty good. Sick...tacky...tasteless...all the stuff I love at Christmas...

Gotta love this one. Who knew Barbie was such a fucking slut......

This is old but......

2008-12-01T04:36:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T05:06:00.000-08:00

Yeah , let's celebrate. The first Thanksgiving was a 3 day feast. I like that part and think it's a tradition worth keeping. Never mind my waistline needs a 3 day fast. Time to pig out. Oh I'm going all out, cheap crabmeat dip and cheese tonight. Ham ( I don't like turkey, never have and I don't want a shitload of dry meat leftover that you have to put 1/2 a pound of mayo on just to choke it down. We usually have a goose but only Dave and I will eat it and at $70. no thanks)

So ham it is. Sweet potato casserole(which is a kickass dish compliments of Margot. I broke tradition this year by not losing the recipe and having to call her to get it.) greenbean casserole, corn, stuffing, you can still have stuffing with out the turkey you know, those big flaky rolls, cranberry sauce, pink pudding (this is what my grandmother called it-just cherry jello, crushed pineapple, and whipped cream) That's it of my cooking.

Dave will make a gravy, lefses and apple pie. Yep my hubby is great in the kitchen, he was also pretty great in the..........oh sorry wrong subject....

Then just to make it authentic ,if anyone drops cookies off , or a bottle of wine or anything, lets see if we can get them evicted from their home. Well why not? Its what the Indians got right.

It's tradition. You bring us a little holiday cheer , we fuck you over. Americans, nice people...

Then we must think about what we're grateful for and "give thanks" . Ohhh imaginary being thank you for not fucking me over the way you did Bob at work. You must not like him much do you God. But hey, thanks for liking me.... Wait! Is that our savior's face in the pie? Oh great flying spaghetti monster....I am so grateful for all this crap I charged and can't afford this year.

Then it's football time. Gee my favorite. I keep telling my husband the only way football would be worth watching is if they play naked and to the death. I'd tune in for that! Yeah, now that would be good entertainment...But nooo...oh no.... unnecessary roughness...waaahhh...the whole fucking game is unnecessary roughness..But they HAVE to watch it . They don't though, they watch a few minutes and then they're out like a light, snoring and drooling Thanksgiving dinner all over the sofas of America. Naked and to the death I say!

I gotta go buy some beer...........

Enjoy.....

2008-11-25T04:22:00.000-08:00

Thanks Jody!

Still has my vote for twit of the year

2008-11-23T07:11:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8DTSPzU0RI

This is just fucking unbelieveable. People really wanted her in the White House. What a twit!

Obviously the blog is working again. Guess I just had to get real mad at it..

Stayed tuned for more completely random trivial events of my life.....

2008-11-21T04:50:00.000-08:00

Don't know what the deal is with this blog. I have been having all sorts of trouble logging into the point I got pissed off and started a new blog elsewhere. If you're interested email me and I will send you the link...This one my dwindle to nothing , I don't know. Maybe if it still works I'll keep this one going and change the new one some...hmmm . We shall see. Picking up the new kitty today. Our cat is home and acting fine. She doesn't act sick or like she is in pain or anything so maybe she'll just heal up. Time will tell I guess........

Princess Goner

2008-11-19T15:32:00.000-08:00

Looks like it may be the end for Princess Licky , our cat. Turns out she has a hernia, way under the rib, close to the lung, may be the end for her. Shit , shit , shit. I've had so many cats it's not going to tear me in two but Emily is SO attached to her. Princess licky, or Wilma to the vet, or lately Skittles is the most tolerant of all cats . Emily was way too rough with her when she was a toddler but the cat loves her anyway. Always sleeps on her bed. She stayed at the vet tonight and a surgeon is going to give her an exam in the morning. It may end up costing $80. just for a fucking diagnosis. I'm not spending hundreds to save a cat, sorry all you bleeding hearts out there but it's a fucking cat and losing a childhood pet is just part of growing up, Emily will survive.

We will likey opt to do nothing and see what happens. She could recover , or just live with it that way I suppose. She doesn't seem to be in pain or suffering. Who knows. One day she'll probably just disappear. I think that would be easier on Emily then hey , time to put your cat down honey, sorry. dead cat day.

I think we need to find a kitten for Christmas regardless. All you local readers, know anyone? You know who you are. I need a kitten (or even 2). The trouble with kittens is people want to get rid of them too early. I want a kitten that stays with it's mother till at least 10 weeks!

Back Up

2008-11-17T05:08:00.000-08:00

Computer is fixed after much waiting and scewing around. Very frustrating, especially for Dave. He's had to do all the work. Yesterday I was in the kitchen and heard him in here working on it. Fuck! he says. Alison , by me, says over and over in her sweet little voice, fuck, fuck ,fuck. Uh oh...She's at the parroting stage. Her language is just exploding. I bet she said 20 new words in the last couple days. Have to watch it though. Reminds me of a funny email I got this weekend. A friend of mine has a little boy. Her child piped up one evening to his daddy.."Mommy calls you a dick, but I don't , I think you're nice"..I've been laughing about that one all weekend.

So nice to be able to sit down and type and not have the thing freeze. We've been using our old one for weeks and it's a piece of shit. This one kicks ass now yeah!

Busy around here but not nearly as much accomplished as I hoped. With this stupid cirus that went through here we're (I) am still trying to catch up on routine stuff. Soon we will begin the kitchen remodel. We're not having any family over for the holidays so the timing doesn't really matter. Still may take a few weeks to get started but at least we're getting closer...

Going to see some friends this week much to Emily's relief. She has been pretty lonely lately. Is doing great with her school work, just too isolated.

Started Christmas shopping a little. Takes a lot of running around to make a few hundred bucks look like something. Emily REALLY wants the barbie mariposa doll so found one on sale for $8, that's done. Do other atheists go to so much trouble for Christmas. We've always celebrated it , just because....I like the decarating, and the baking. I know Dave likes the time off work, though he'll only have a day extra this year. Kind of stupid when you think about it. But Emily still thinks theres a Santa. I remember my grandmother talking about outgrowing nonsensical thing. She said "I gave up Santa at 10, and the Lord at 20" Good old Gram...We still did Christmas anyway. Guess it was just expected then. Just ignored all the religious stuff. I almost puke every time I see one of those jesus is the reason for the season..Not in my house...Oh well not sure how I got off on that....I can type all I want I guess....

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-28T06:24:00.000-07:00

old pictures i found

2008-10-17T09:15:00.000-07:00

Hmmm ..Will it Work?

2008-10-13T07:18:00.000-07:00

On our old computer. The velocity mother board died, mother fucker. Now we have to send it and have them fix it and it will takes weeks. This computer "works" . it just freezes up , so who knows if this will get posted..

What a week. Mom's visit was ok, that is I managed to bite my tongue all week, I think she had a nice time, and she got here and back safely...big sigh og relief. When I dropped her off at the airport , the woman to push her to her gate was mentaly handicapped and having a nose bleed. Wonderful. She made though.

While Mom was here we had a new well put in, electric lines buried. Glad that's over too. Alison turned 2 and had a good birthday. I forgot to give her the magnadoodle I bought so guess will save that for Christmas.

Yesterday would've been calm, but Alison fell HARD on the driveway. The sound of her little herad hitting it is still ringing in my ears. Banged up her forehead , cheeks , nose under her nose. Tripped with a damn hoolahoop. I can't post picture with this stupid computer, but guess it would be gruesome anyway. She's ok but just makes my heart sick and a little queezy every time I look at her.

Also have some great pictures from the well being dug I wish I could post. Evenbtually....

Gonna Be a Wild One.. Too Much To Deal With

2008-10-03T10:45:00.000-07:00

Mom arrives from Ohio in the morning. Hopefully all will go well. They are suppose to meet her with a wheelchair and help her get to her gate. I called to confirm this today but I don't trust anyone. Someone told me about a relative that was just left sitting, push yourself! I guess. Assholes. Hopefully she won't have any trouble. The departure part shouldn't be a bfg deal. Dayton is a pretty small airport, but the one here is huge and there's no way she can walk it.

Today still I need to pick up Sarah, go fight with the library. I have a bunch due today which I'm returning but need to renew a couple and they won't let me until these others are returned. Bite me.

Gas up the van to get to the airport. Laundry. more cleaning. more laundry, more cleaning...Did I mention cleaning and laundry? Argghhh...

Monday we have well working begining , which means moving a buttload of stuff out of the way over the weekend. Tuesday we have electricians coming to bury the power lines, Wednesday the well people come back and finish. Not a huge deal as fars as Mom and the girls are concerned but I need to fill up the tub so we have water to flush the toilet. Hopefully the power won't be off long either. Can't really go elsewhere. Mom will manage to get her but really all she'll feel up to doing is laying on the couch and watching her granddaughters. Not like we're going to see the sites or anything. I'm sure it will all be fine, just rambling to get it straight in my mind what needs to be done when.

Somewhere in there call my friend Abby in Ohio to give her Moms flight info. She is thankfully picking her up at the airport next saturday and driving her home. Owe you one Abby!

Just lots of little stuff to remember and things to do. I have this sinking feeling that I'm forgetting about something important. Hate it when that happens. Oh well guess it will all work out in the end. After this week I need a vacation.......

I KNOW WHAT IT IS!!!! Stop at the liqour store!

Wild Weekend

2008-09-29T05:34:00.001-07:00

Framing is almost done. Dave has been working nonstop on this most of the weekend and will be ready to sheath and roof it this week. He didn't get much done Saturday because I was gone all day.

I actually had the whole day to myself and went to the annual homeschool conference. Lots of good infornation, interesting people and I bought some cool stuff. I found a great geography game for $4. and a sentence building linking blocks thing. It has little cubes ,like the counting blocks that snap together, a total of 380 words so it's pretty neat. Emily loves it.

Busy week this week. Mom will be here Saturday so trying to get things ready. I hope everything goes well. I probably won't relax until she is back home. She sounds so weak and frail on the phone. Could be quite the week.

Sarah has a job interview at the photo place at Pennys this afternoon. I hope she gets it. She really needs a job.and since she loves photography this might be something she would enjoy. She has been doing so well with her college classes. I'm so proud of her. And damn that girl walks! Miles and miles she has been walking. I think its doing her alot of good and I should follow suit and get off my ass and do it too.

Hard to believe Alison is going to be 2 soon. Check her out in her little frog towel. Absolutely horrid shot of me but what are you going to do. I meant to select the other shot but I'm stuck with this one unless I want to delete the whole god damn thing.

It Has Begun

2008-09-22T04:49:00.000-07:00

Dave has made some serious progress on the girls playhouse. It's going to be so awesome! Real windows and a picture window. where Emily is standing will eventually be under a little loft.If you look at the opposite end of where Dave and Emily are standing you can just barely see the tree, not the one to the right but directly behind the playhouse. Dave is going to build a deck off the the loft and then a swinging bridge connecting it to that tree. There will be a couple levels to climb on there and then a big slide off the other side of the tree.
Emily is walking on what will be the front porch, roof will extend to cover it, will have a door in the middle an a window on each side.

What a Relief!

2008-09-18T08:40:00.000-07:00

I just found out I'm not lazy! I have output failure syndrome..thank God......

A Day at Home

2008-09-18T05:48:00.001-07:00

I don't have to be anywhere today, run any errands, nothing! Yippy. Girls are still sound asleep,once up we can have a quiet day homeschooling, cleaning, reading......

I have been reading alot. I have a whole pile of library books, and have been on-line researching vaccinations. I haven't the energy to get into it but will just say this: I wish I had done this sooner. My children will never get another shot. No way. The more you dig the scarier it is. There is so much information on this controversy on both sides, you really have to dig and dig to find facts rather than opinions. I have come to the conclusion that not only are vaccinations not necessary they're down right dangerous. If skeptical research for yourself.

So much to do around here, and we've gotten a good bit done too. New roofs are on, faisha and souffits( spelling?) next. We're getting a new well pump, quick before this one dies completely and a filtration system . Yippy! I hate the taste of well water but at least it's not full of all the chemical crappola that is in tap. Getting the septic pumped, almost $300 for thta. DAMN! What can you do though? It's worth just about any price to me to never have to clean up raw sewage off my basement floor again. I had to do that 3 FUCKING times before we had our new septic system put in last year. I had been renting I think I would've just ran away. Nothing nastier than that. No choice though, it's my house, can't just leave it. Off that shitty subject....we're going to put off doing the siding until spring. Finally got the insurance settlement but there's just not time left in the season. Hopefully hopefully we will get the kitchen done over the winter. I can't wait!

My mom will visiting in less than 3 weeks. Hope it goes well. She hasn't been on a plane for 30 years and is terrified of it. My advice is ativan first and a drink on the plane. I have to call the airports and remind then to "meet and assist" If you don't add the "assist"they'll just give her a wheelchair and leave her on her own. Idiots.

Have been very busy with homeschooling too and it's going well. Made this for Emily and she loves it. Sound out all the words and match with the objects. I include a candy one for motivation. Maybe I should right a book. how to bribe your child into learning. Whatever fucking works. We also went to Eastman nature center for a puppet show and Alison got to see a live owl. Don't know if you can tell in the picture but the owl only has one eye. Born that way , they think a birth defect from pesticides. Fucking aye. Anyway, girls had a great time, it was a show about nocturnal animals and they got a prize if they wore their jammies. Not too lazy to dress my kids

2008-09-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

Couldn't They Do Better Than That?

2008-09-11T05:45:00.000-07:00

Ok first off, it's great that there is a memorial to honor all the people that died at the Pentagon during 911, I'm all for that, but is it just me or do these look like giant staplers?

Vote Nader

2008-09-11T04:58:00.000-07:00

Ron Paul can say better than I. What it comes down to is voting for the lesser of the evils is just not working. We need to have a third party , someone that will represent the people not big buisness. Ok I lied, I'm not done bitching about politics, there's just too much wrong. I'm tired of watching this country going to hell in a handbasket. It use to be the league of women voters had control over the debates. They started the debates in the first place. It has been stolen by the republicans and democrats and if you're not one of the 2 parties you can't get in. How is that democratic? I wish people actually read this blog( yeah I have a few regular readers, my friends, thanks for listening/reading....but I wish I had the power to convince people not to vote for either of the idots running and vote for REAL change.) Our country is going to be a shitty place for our children to live in if we don't. What happen to the babyboomer generation, have they all sold out? What about the younger people? Fight for your rights here people! Too many people, including my own Mom, have been saying they're just not going to vote. NO! Vote for the independants!

http://ronpaulnews.net/2008/09/video-ron-paul-at-national-press-club.html

My Eye Hurts

2008-09-11T04:15:00.000-07:00

Well I said I wasn't going to just bitch about politics but that doesn't mean I'm done bitching altogether. Had surgery to remove the cyst by my eye yesterday. It wasn't fun. The injections to numb it burned like a mother fucker and when they stiched up the incision I could feel the suture brush against my eyeball. It didn't hurt, just felt creepy. Margot sent me this picture. Good one, looks as creepy as all this feels. It only took about 15 minutes so at least I was out of there fast. It's been really bothering me though. Itchy and I can't scratch it, kind of throbs a bit, and the worst part is a stich keeps poking the corner of my eye. It's red and irriated. My face is bruising....Can't wait until this heals up.
Rainy day at home today. Kitchen is trashed so guess that's the mission for the day. Clean the God damn kitchen. Once home from that we had pizza, then I went to the library. Not that I wanted to but I had a whole pile of books due and can't afford the fines, so nothing got done around here. Oh except my new dryer hooked up. Awesome machine.

I Can Bitch Moan Complain...........

2008-09-10T09:10:00.000-07:00

....or I can get off my ass and do something. Tuesday night I went to the local chapter of League of Women Voters, and have joined. I will be able to get involved at a local level and help to make changes in this country I hope. I had a wonderful time at the meeting, met quite a few very intelligent women who are passionate about this organization. Women from all walks of life, and ages. I also am looking into joing NOW, an organization I very much support. However, from what I've seen I don't know how much is going on with them in my area. Driving down to Minneapolis on a weekly basis is just not something I can commit to..

I know what I'm doing ,rasing my children to be good people, and educating them at home is important. However, it is very isolating and I need to do something for me, that has nothing to do with the care of small children. Maybe some day it will lead to something that actually pays a little money. That would be more then welcome. For now, just getting involved, meeting interesting people and having an outlet is great.

On a trivial note , I have a closet full of nice clothes I never get to wear. What's the point of ruining them cleaning? So it's kind of fun to dress a little better and get out of the house. Even though I'm disgusted about the upcoming election it is satisfying to think I can do something constructive rather than my usual groaning.

None of the Above

2008-09-05T05:23:00.000-07:00

I hate this not having a candidate that will actually be a good president and make changes for the better. I watched McCain last night. Here's the thing. I think he is basically a good man as far as he believes what he says he believes. I think he is sincere in that, but he's a misguided fool when it comes to every issue. I can't vote for a creationist right to lifer, he wants to increase military spending, opposes federal funding for health care, wants to privatize social security, all for the death penalty, supports the Patriot Act,premptive war, and loosening gun control. Jesus, how can any thinking person vote for him. There's so much patriotic hype people are just sucked in. Scary.

Obama on the otherhand is more sensible about the issues, but he talks out of both sides of his mouth, shifty, I don't trust him and haven't from the begining. And no it has nothing to do with his race. Sidney Poitier or Morgan Freeman would be better choices. Hey Reagan was an actor why not? I still want Alan Alda for president speaking of actors. There's a man who could do the job and do it right. Not interested I guess. Oh the whole thing just makes me mad. Every 4 years we go through this and it only gets worse. If McCain has his way that could change too. He opposes length of term served. God can you imagaine, no end to the twit in office now? As my grandmother said, things are going to hell in a handbasket.

We need someone like Nader but younger , more charismatic to actually get peoples attention and support. He has spent his life publically speaking out against the loonisies of all this starting with the early Phil Donahue shows. He knows what he's talking about as far as domestic issues but I'm not so sure on forgien ones. He doesn't have a snowballs chance in hell in winning anyway, so it's a moot point.

We're suppose to be the greatest nation on earth. That should mean great, not just the lesser of the evils .

And one more little rant, I am so FUCKING sick of "faith" being every other word in all this. Shut the fuck up.

Vote for Sarah for Twit

2008-09-03T10:09:00.000-07:00

This is getting so ridiculous. I wish I believed things will change for the better but I don't. I want to vote" none of the above" I don't like any of them. Nader doesn't have a chance in hell, and is too old and maybe a little nutty, though the best choice as far as the issues, I don't trust Obama ,McCain stands for everything I abhor , but I gotta give him credit for picking this Sarah Palin. It was probably a wise move for his side but God is she a twit. Doesn't deserve the name Sarah in my opinion. People need to stop and think , just because she is a woman doesn't mean she is a substitute for Hillary ( not that Hillary is that great but certainly was the lesser of the evils ) This Sarah Palin is against anyone who who stands for equal rights for women. NOW won't endorse her, she's opposes equal pay, right to choose, actually believes no child left behind is working,she is against gay marriage, and is all for teacher led prayer in school. I'm not the first to say it, but just because she has a vagina doesn't mean she is a good choice to represent women in this country. Her completely idiotic stand on any political issue you can think of , makes her a nightmare as a vice president candidate. On a personal level, she thinks children with down's are a gift from God, she named her children, Todd, Track, Piper, Bristol, and Trig. Guess they beat Apple but not by much. She is in serious need of a makeover.. Not that any of that really matters , just goes to show twit all around, politically, personally, you name it . She gets my vote for twit of the year.

laughing my ass off!

2008-08-31T14:04:00.001-07:00

I am in seriuous need of a makeover and am considering the first cut. The next 3 are too fucking funny though!

This Thing Kicks Ass

2008-08-26T04:59:00.000-07:00

Love this new washer, between that and getting the carpet cleaned today my house might just start to resemble something clean. Here? damn I like it. My mother will be stunned when she comes to visit. I have always been a kind of messy. Really it's clutter, no filth. All comes from having my brothers walk through my room as a kid I think. If it's a total mess I didn't mind and they stayed out. Anyway, this machine kicks ass, has a santize setting that heats the water to kill germs. Great for the towels that were still dirty from the other one crapping out. It uses so little water, and so quiet compared to the other one. Just hope it last awhile. Things just aren't made to last any more.

And now for something completely different. Click on the link if you dare, hilarious,( not for children or the religious.)

http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php

look for the jackhammer jesus....holy shit.

So Sad

2008-08-25T18:57:00.001-07:00

Yep, the washer died so I had to buy this: oh waaahhh..

The Good , The Bad, and the Broken

2008-08-25T04:22:00.000-07:00

Another strange weekend. At least this one didn't end with someone hospitalized. Got started on the playhouse Dave is building for the girls. Foundation level and post holes dugs. Thats about as far as he got. He and Emily wnet over to Menards or somewhere for parts and he comes home with this: ( the good) He called from the store didn't just show up with it. His buddy Tom got in in his head that we need this. Well it's very cool, and we decided it would be an anniversary present to each other. Well thats fine but I guess I need to read up on cooking on a grill because supper sucked, Ribs were dry and tough, veggies weren't done completely(the bad) . Thats not going to be our only big exspense I guess cause a few hours after we bought this the damn washer died(the broken obviously). So today on top of taking Sarah to the college and back, getting ready for the carpet to be cleaned tomorrow and maybe taking Alison to the doctor(I'm still debating-she has cold symptoms but no fever) , we gotta go buy a new washer.

My 2 Cents on the Olympics

2008-08-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

I don't give a rats ass about the Olympics. I not big on sports to begin with. The whole China thing turns my stomach, but I can't get my panties in a bunch too much about it since I have yet to cease buying anything made in China...still nauseating though. However, I have watched a little of it. I do live with a man , it's a little hard to avoid. The gymnastics are cool and it was fun to watch that little Sean girl get her gold. Saw a piece on her on the local news and her family seems nice too. Something about her reminds me of Emily so I was watching and cheering for her.

The highlight of the Olympics to me was seeing Mark Spitz. I have never been a fan but damn when they interviewed him it was hard to focus on the conversation in the room at the time.( Sorry honey I'm getting all wet over the guy on the TV).... It's not fair that men get better looking as they age. And he was pretty hot 25 years ago. Check him out: Unfortunately he's probably an idiot( and gay) if he's smiling that big standing next to father whats his face. (Forgive me father for I have sinned and mount me in the pool will ya?) He may be some famous preist for all I know, not up on that. Looks like a pediphile to me. Anyway I still think he's a good looking man, and definately the highlight of sitting through all the crap. Olympic volleyball? come on...and ping pong! Yeah right. DAMN I could've been a contender... And my last comment. I think when it's all over comments from the participants ,once they're home , will far more interesting then any of the sports dribble...My theory which is mine.

Not My Day

2008-08-23T05:06:00.000-07:00

Saturday, should be the day I can sleep in , let Dave get the girls and have a relaxing moring but noooo, he's off helping a friend dry wall a ceiling and I have to jump up and get busy. Sarah forgot about getting her books, classes start Monday. The bookstore is only open in the a.m so I have to get both girls ready and drive over there. Shit Alison is awake now. I was going to wait 20 minutes until I wake her up.

Much to do around here. Carpet is to be cleaned Tuesday and I gotta empty this room. No small task let me tell you.

On a completely different subject I finally have a plan for the kitchen. I really like this island and am going to try and do something like it. It will be slightly bigger and where the fruit bowl is I will have a cut out for a range. Where the frig etc. is, in my house is just windows, and where their range and cooktop is my frig and sink are on that wall. My hutch is black and I can do without the green, I do like the red chairs though. So guess you have to use your imagination, especially if you've never seen my kitchen. This will end up a similiar layout and overall impression and I really want to do that way. I like the openness of this room. Right now I hate my kitchen , this could work. Would mean elliminating the tables and chairs. The table I have is round and folds down , many time when you least expect it. It desperately needs to be refinished too so I don't mind not having it. I hate the chairs that go with it and they're in rough shape too. Eventually if we can ever afford to add a sunroom like we want to I'll refinish the table and buy new comfy chairs and we'll put it out there. Or the girls can sell it when I'm dead and gone, whichever comes first....

Update: Got even stranger around here. Emily was crying because her ear hurt so bad so had to take her to the doctor. Before we leave I I get a call about one of the cars Dave sold being picked up. So I call him, he calls the buyer, buyer never heard of this person, back and forth, then some bitch from some hauling company calls chewing me out, why hasn't this car been released? I would've hit her if I could've. What the fuck is going on? Back and forth on the phone to Dave but I had to leave for Emily's appointment. So I leave sarah with instructions to not let anyone take that car even is she has to call the police. Then I get back Sarah, Emily does indeed have a ear infection. The doc asked her is she had taken any medicine for it. She looks at her like what an idiot and says "not yet" Like why the fuck do you think we're here asshole. Amused me. Anyway. Dave starts cleaning the floor in Emily's room , huh? Sarah is cleaning. Then dave tells me he's been thinking and has kind of a crazy idea....He suggests maybe we start building a new house and then tear this one down when we're done. Serious. Um no. For a thousand reasons no. Then Sarah says would I be willing to drive her to the movies. We already discussed this. I told her school starts Monday , she has been running around all week, was in the hospital last weekend, I want her to stay home this weekend. She starts getting ready to leave anyway. I told her no she's not going anywhere. She walks out anyway with me telling her to say goodbye to her new camera if she goes out the door. Then Alsion wakes from a nap after 20 minutes all stuffed up. Sick too? Don't know yet. I think Dave said something to Emily about pizza hours ago but we haven't discussed it. Strange fucking day and it's only 1/2 over. I would be drinking but chances are I'll have to go out and get sarah somewhere. Or at least cigarettes. She can damn well walk but one never knows if they're going to be called out to the fucking ER or something arghhhhhh

Sometimes Laughing Is The Only Way to Open Your Mouth Without Screaming

2008-08-22T05:25:00.000-07:00

Quote from the character Hawkeye on M#A#S#H.

I have a sick sense of humor, always have. I love Monty Python, South Park . I think it's funny. It doesn't mean I am actually amsued by the tragic suffering in the world. Everybody hardens themselves to a point so they can cope with it all. If you sit down and start thinking about all the problems in the world it could get overwhelming fast. People have to have an outlet.

For some it's church and prayer. Well I choose not to use an imaginary deity that is the justification for much of the horror. Instead I laugh .

I recently made a comment on someone else's blog trying to explain my point of veiw on sick humor. Probably didn't come off as tactful as I wanted to. She is a very nice person and I was trying to make her feel better. Doubt if it worked .

Take starvation. It's absolutely inexuseable that in this day and age there are hungry starving people in the world,esspecially in this country. It is out of my control. I can give from my pantry, checkbook and my time but it doesn't change anything. It's a drop in the bucket because across the globe $ goes for business instead of people. Instead of obsessing , crying for them , wrecking my mental health , I make jokes. "How many Etheopians can you fit in a phone booth? Answer " All of them! It's funny. That doesn't mean the suffering and pain of some poor soul because they have nothing to eat is actually an amusing thing.

This isn't a new thing, there's an old joke " other than that Mrs. Lincoln how did you like the play?" Outrageous in those times, and yep funny. Was it a funny thing that the president was gunned down when out enjoying a little theater, no, but the joke is funny. People need to lighten up. There are some things in the world that you can't control and as Hawkeye said , laughing is a way to open your mouth without screaming. Laughing is good for you.

So after a year of blogging, reading about memes and challenges ...I have a challenge for any reading this: In the comments leave the sickest joke you know.

Breathing Easier

2008-08-20T05:31:00.000-07:00

I'm finally relaxing a bit. Today we have to stay home and concentrate on things around here. The furnace guy is coming for the annual maintainence between 8:00-5:00, don't you just love that! So we're staying home and getting things done. It's ok though I'm prepared. I went to the store last night and bought brownies, cigarettes and a pepsi ,so no emergency should come up. I know I know, but I've had a hard week and I'm going to indulge a little bit.

I have one week until the carpet cleaning is done so much to do around in addition to homeschooling. Will be good though. The deep cleaning will be done a few weeks before my mom comes to visit and then I can just putter around and work on little stuff that has been put off.

Emily just woke up and came in here crying, " why did you eat the last muffin?" I didn't Sarah did, but now I have had to promise to make more. Guess we'll do fractions with cooking for math today. We bought the whole big Saxon math kit so today she gets to get it all out and just play with the stuff. I haven't let her yet. Just got out what went with her lesson but she wants to see it all. Will have to wait until Alison naps though or it will be a fight and a mess.

Just a morning ramble with nothing too interesting today Welcome change really. Just waking myself up really. Better get busy...........

And Now For Something Completely Different

2008-08-19T05:51:00.001-07:00

Before all the drama with Sarah we had a full weeekend. Dave jumped up and took one of the wreckage cars to junkyard. He had it loaded on a flatbed trailer, and when they picked it up the roof broke off and it came crashing back down. Broke the wench, dented the fender and scared the dirt out of Dave.

Once home from that we went to the Threshing Show up in Nowthen. The girls had fun seeing the little petting zoo,old general store and riding the little train. I was too hot, the flea market sucked this year and I was glad to get home.

I've also been working on this mess of a house. This cabinet was full of dishes. Now that I have my hutch and was able to empty it, I'm using this to organise some of the homeschool stuff. I still have to do the the bookcase but at least this is a start. Big time saver. So much of the morning has been finding what I need.

Sunday morning Dave had someone come and look at a car to buy, they said they wanted it but would have to make payments. Then someone else offered $200 more and money right now. What can you do?

After they left Dave went to pick up the 1/2 a cow we bought. Damn do we have meat now. I'm dissapointed though because 2/3 of it is hamburger, no chuck cuts , and a bunch of liver. Ick.

After that a friend came over and I was kind of counseling him about his marriage following apart. Then I dropped Sarah and her friends at the campground. Home to make a steak dinner to try out the meat. Laundry, cleaning, baths etc. A full weekend and I was beat when I layed down to sleep Sunday night. That lasted an hour. Soo today I'm tired. Emily woke up crying that her tummy hurt this morning. I think it's more needing my attention and worrying about Sarah and all that was going on then tummy problems. So I need to get off here , get her busy with something fun and her school work.

As Gilda Radner said "it's always something"

Terrifying, longest short walk of my life

2008-08-18T14:41:00.000-07:00

I hope to hell I never have another night like this. About 12:30 am I get a call saying that Sarah has been taken to the hospital. She went camping with friends and drank heavily. Other campers complained about the noise and when the rangers came they found Sarah unconscious. They called 911 and friends called me.

I get to the ER and say who's mother I was at the window. The woman called back and instead of aying Sarah Robinson's mother is here , she says in a weird voice "her mother is here" , then I go in and ask the first person I come to , is she alright. She wouldn't answer and tells me the doctor will talk to me and directs me down the hall. I have never been so scared in my life, after those responses I thought she was dead. I even said out loud to myself, this isn't good. Walking down that hall was the longest walk of my life. But luckily, thankfully, huge relief she was alive , but out cold , on a ventilator. It was shocking to see her like that but not the ordeal you'd think because I was just so relieved she was alive the rest of it wasn't so bad.

She was completely unaware , didn't know she had even left the camp site.I stayed with her about 3 hours , answering questions until she was transfered to ICU. They told me they were going to keep her sedated until morning so I went home about 3:00 to try and sleep a little. Didn't work but at least I rested a bit. When answering questions , one nurse asked me if she was being abused. They ask all women I guess if they're hospitalised now days I guess. I said, not until tomorrow. She laughed pretty hard and we talked about how this was a valueable lesson. The nurse even suggested a picture to show her would be good since she would likely not remember any of it. Brilliant idea. So when I came back to the hospital at dawn I took brought the camera. Now i have this gruesome shot to show here periodically to remind her how lucky she is to be alive, what she put me through and she better make some mature choices from now on because the alternatice could be fatal.

She's home now. We had a difficult 1/2 hour or so this morning when she had come to enough to be aware of the ventilator, but not conscious enough to have it taken it out. She fought and cried and had to be restrained, it was hell to watch her go through it. She doesn't remember at all but I have a vivid picture in my mind and now she will too. What a fucking ordeal. Once the ventilator was out she was back to herself about an hour later, and they let her come home a couple hours after that. She is very remorseful, sore and tired. Hopefully she learned her lesson. Always the hard way it seems. Will have a citation fine to pay so that will keep it fresh in her mind awhile. Hope to hell I never have another night like that...

I Don't Fucking Think SO

2008-08-16T06:01:00.000-07:00

Here's the article above blown up so you can actually read it. See this is what I mean when I on occassion have to put my husband in his place and tell him to knock off the fucking 50's mentality. Hard to believe people really took this stuff seriously........
my comments in red

The Good Wife's Guide
From Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955.

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. Tell him it's his turn to cook and it better be good,and clean up after for God's sake.This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed. Like I'm not hungry after a day of kids,errands, homeschooling, etc...
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Just keep in mind he's off work now, a break from work also means a break from hygiene,just because he isn't going to shower for 4 days doesn't mean you can't.
Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. Having lesbian sex on the couch when he walks in should do the trick, yeah I know they don't mean that gay, still would be funny, hi honey is it 5:00 already?
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.In my house darling hubby would have to be gone a year for me to have time to clear all this clutter. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Maybe I could set fire to all the junk in the yard since we have no fireplaceYour husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. I prefer to be satisfied by having his face ........well as Monty Python puts its..."sit on my face and tell me that you love me...."
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet. Yeah right
Be happy to see him. Yes until the testosterone kicks in and you want to smack him
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. They certainly think that, don't even hear what you have to say unless the word Nascar is in the sentence 1/2 the time.
Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work. He can eat his dinner cold is he's too inconsiderate to sit down and eat the meal you fixed.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. If this was a current article it would probably recommend having the remote handy since he'll have a mental breakdown unless it's in his hand.
Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. How bout take your shoes off before you walk on my clean carpet! Think male!
Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment(poor as it is) or integrity. Remember, he is the master(bater) of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. This one just makes you want to hurt someone, master of the house my ass, no right! Fuck that shit. I have every right.
A good wife always knows her place. And her place is at a good attorneys office filing divorce papers to take everything penny he has if he tries to pull this crap.

Ok I feel better now. I went to snopes on this and its says undetermined. Doesn't really matter if this was an actually published article or not, this was the mentality then , and it cases where it still lingers it needs to be bitch slapped out of people. (thanks for the article Jody)

Damn Do I Love A Good Yardsale!

2008-08-15T13:01:00.000-07:00

So I'm driving to the grocery store and see a sign "Homeschool Garage Sale" Slam on the brakes, whoo Nelly, why didn't I know about this early damn damn. But I found it and wow some good stuff. Lots of it was stuff a bag for $5. Check out my loot for $25. The Human brain science kit - I found a used one on Amazon for $25, what I paid for all this stuff and that doesn't include shipping. I also got Uno Stacko ,2 puzzellations puzzles (tricky cool ones if you've never seen them) 10 Boxcar Children books, 10 other good books, Little House on the Prairie curriculm, A kids Learn America book, math flashcards, writing practice stockcards, Monopoly Junior, some misc. toys. What a deal!

The Dead Zoo

2008-08-13T14:24:00.000-07:00

Our homeschool group had a trip today to Como Zoo but we didn't go. I'm a traffic weanie and going that far just isn't something I want to do. It was a beautiful day though and so I decided to take the girls to the dead zoo instead, actually it's the Eastman Nature Center. Since most of the animals there are real dead stuffed animals that's what I call it. There were live turtles, frogs, snakes and catepillars though. They also had a very cool glass bee hive. So neat to watch them in the hive and then go out their little tunnel to the outside.

Very cool place, everything is hands on, kid friendly and fun, and the best part, free and close to home. I don't know why we've never checked it out before but will definately go back. Next month they're having a puppet show pajama party. Puppet show including a live owl. Alison just loves owls for some reason. She says "ooooowwwwwwwlllllllllll", not just owl. Anyway, they'll get a prize if they wear their jammies, have milk and cookies and see a show. Anyway anyway, the girls had so much fun dressing up in animal costumes, checking out all the displays, discovering hidden natural articfacts in drawers and cubbies. ..
After the nature Center we went over to the playground. Damn that place is huge and they had a great time.
Apparently blogger is having trouble because I can't get any pictures uploaded damn it.......finally....

Back to Work

2008-08-08T04:43:00.000-07:00

Emily wanted to learn about bugs, so we started our first unit of the year on that. Off to a slow start but that's ok. The main thing I want to accomplish with her this week is getting into the routine of school work every day. I don't use a set curriculum,at least for most subjects. I do use Saxon Math since I suck at math and don't want to rely on my skills alone to teach her what she needs to know. I combine other subjects into a unit when it seems to work depending on what we do. She is also learing about pioneer days or old fashion times as she calls it. We're still reading On the Banks of Plum Creek- Laura Ingalls. There is a chapter in there about a grasshopper infestation so that goes along with the insect. So her weeks work was this: ( boring I guess to readers but this is suppose to be my log of homeschooling not just bitching so guess i should mention it from time to time) So 2 days back to homeschooling after a summer break we did the following:

photograph and identify backyard insects.

(Hard to see but there's a dragonfly in that last picture)

read together the pile of librbary books, 1/2 on insects, 1/2 early readers

listening -Laura Ingalls book

visited the website http://www.musicofnature.com/ cool site that has the sounds bug makes

Saxon Math first 3 lessons which are completely review and she's getting bored with already, may need to skip ahead a little. She is doing simple addition and subtaction so these lessons are redundant for her. Speaking of which the counting cubes in the kit are hard to snap together frustrating since I paid big bucks for this stuff...

Alphabet tracing. She knows all her letters and the phonetic sounds, is reading a bit but her handwriting is pretty poor so we're doing these again. Next week she wants to write letters so that will give her practice without the stupid tracing.

She enjoys printouts so we did a couple of those. I really like http://www.enchantedlearning.com/ and pay the $20 a year they charge. So much on there it's worth it to me.

She had a great time creating her own bugs. Didn't try to make them realistic, just that each had a head, thorax, abdomen and antenna.

We also watched Ant Wars and Ants! Natures Secret Power on the Science Channel. I know a lot of people hate TV, maybe not hate it but think it's not a good thing for kids. I love it, and think it's just fine if you're selective about what they watch. I do limit the cartoony stuff but there's a lot of good stuff on and of course dvds. Alison loves the Brainy Baby calls it "hmmm" Comes from googling images with me, she sits on my lap when we searching "hmm" she says. Anyway, there's some kickass shows on the more educational channels and I think they're great to add to what they're learning. No I don't think that's enough or that they should sit and view TV all day , but not taking advantage of it is silly. So much cool stuff on. These were great shows, not intended for kids though so I had to pause it periodically and explain what they were saying. She was fascinated though and wants Daddy to watch it.

One of her books is about bees so we learned about them and made peanut butter and honey sandwiches.

I guess that isn't really a slow start considering this was only 2 days work. We didn't actually start until Wednesday. Hopefully she learned something.

Idiots

2008-08-06T05:04:00.000-07:00

My brother Chris died last year and my Mom and oldest brother are anxiously waiting for his estate to be settled. I say estate because that's what they call it regardless of how little you have. He had no assetts really. A car that is going to his friend Tom who helped him out so much through his illness(lung cancer). But, we've all been named in the will and waiting for it to be settled. It's been almost a year and we're wondering what the hell is the hold up, he had nothing. I imagine he left me the saxaphone we shared as kids/and or Peter Gabriel and talking Head Cds/ He really had nothing. So yesterday I find out what the hold up is. Me! I guess the attorney sent me a letter and it came back to them undeliverable. What the Fuck! it was months ago the letter went out supposedly. Why did they wait so long to try and contact me? Stupids idiots. Hopefully now we can move on with this and it will be over and done with. I hate people.........

Today's Harvest

2008-08-05T06:16:00.000-07:00

Our garden is cool but we (me) did a shitty job weeding and we've lost a lot. I just don't have time to get out there and do it. Next year we need to mulch frequently and keep the weeds from taking over. We still have lots of corn which is tassling and the tomatos are doing great, brussel sprouts are fine. Squash is vanishing, beets and peppers are pretty much gone. Sucks. But today's tomatos are great!

A co -worker of Dave's gave him 2 HUGE zucchinis so I've been cooking for a change. I made some kick ass zucchini bread which was gobbled up quickly. Last night I made aup a recipe. Simple for most people I guess but not my strong suit. I sautated sweet onions with fresh basil from my patio garden and garlic powder, then added zucchini, let that cook , once ready I added fresh tomatos , just long enough to warm them, not cook them and finely chopped white chedder cheese curds. Damn was that good. May make it again tonoght since I have all these. Or maybe spaghetti..hmmmm

Too Funny

2008-08-04T04:25:00.000-07:00

I was laying on the couch and hear Emily yelling help ,help ! This is how I found her:

Thanks Lori!

2008-08-02T07:05:00.000-07:00

A friend from our homeschool group sent this to me from one of our playdates. I have few pictures of me, and most of them I hate. This one isn't too bad so glad to have it. Such thoughtful women in this group. I really did luck up when I happened upon it. I'm not much of a joiner, mainly because I'm a critical bitch and most people irriate the shit out of me. This group has been different. All the Moms have been great and Emily loves the kids, what more could you want. Actually with all that has been going on this summer we haven't seen them as much as I would've liked to. Hopefully fall will be different. I'm hoping to host something but can't schedule anything until the rest of this home repair crappola is scheduled. Doesn't have to be done just a time set up.

Off to a Good Start

2008-08-02T06:46:00.000-07:00

Hit some yardsales yesterday and I got some great homeschooling stuff. One sale had a box of misc. for $2. In it was quite a few we can use this year for Emily. There's a neat thing with pages of cling on letters and then you flip it open and a big cling board to make words. Doubles of all the letters so spelling something is actually possible. Several workbooks, some that originally went with this set, and a couple extra. All like new. Dave has the camera so can't take a picture.

Also some things we don't need but look like Emily's stuff so can go in Alison's bin. I'm creating a "homeschool" bin for her. Just stuff she doesn't usually see that she can play with while Emily is working. Alison loves letters and numbers and tries to write them and say them so it should entertain her.

I've also been getting all the stuff we already have organised and we have a lot. Emily is excited about getting back to work. She says she wants to learn about everything! The whole point of doing this in my mind, keep that alive in her. More specifically we're going to start the year off learning about "old fashion times" (pioneer days) bugs, and letter writing. Oh one of things in this box was a create your own stationery thing. What timing!

Plus we finally have all the Saxon Math stuff I wanted to get. I 've been buying it gradually so the exspense wasn't ridiculous all at one time. I went ahead and bought the kit even though it was exspensive and a lot of it you could get elsewhere and or improvise. I look at it this way. Actually getting around to finding it or creating by the time I need it ,well not likely. Also it's good through 3rd. grade then Alison can use it after that. So...even though it was $60. having 6 years use isn't bad.

So we'll be off to a good start with Emily. This is the first official year. In other words the first year I have to report to the school district, argghhh..Not too big of a deal here just have to notify them and then send a quartly report.

Little Outhouse on the Prairie

2008-07-28T05:57:00.000-07:00

We went camping at Lake Shetek this weekend. Had a great time, got to see Margot and fam but man how many people can you cram in a campground . It was real-diculous as we like to say. We camped at the point of a pennisula, you drive up with the lake on your left and camp sites not only at the end, and on the right, but to the left along the shoulder of the drive in there. Just cram them anywhere.

When we first got there we were the only ones back there and it was really nice. Very pretty lake with pelicans going by, lots and lots of trees. Very nice. Then 4 more family's came in on top of us. There was room for one . The outhouse was so horrible. Outhouses in general don't bother me but, there was only one, and it was bad! But we had a good time, weathered a good storm Saturday night . Our beater $200 pop camper didn't leak , well guess one spot did a little but not over the beds.

It was a very relaxing weekend. I finally got to sample one of Margots' cakes. Kick ass, now that's cake, no wonder she's getting orders.

Well guess not everyone was happy every second:

Since we woke up Sunday morning to everything soaking wet , the Little House museum was too much to deal. We're all so filty and we just wanted to get home and shower. Emily didn't really care. She had a great time , we haven't finished reading the books anyway. Maybe next year we'll do that and make sure we do it the first day. We did see Plum Creek, as in On the Banks of Plum Creek.

It was a fun trip and the girls were plenty tired on the way home:

ZAP!

2008-07-13T06:20:00.000-07:00

Storms came through Friday and lightening struck one of our elms, split it right in half. We have a huge yard but this tree is right beside the house, too close for comfort. I'm sure it was the first big crack we heard before the storm was really on us. Just goes to show standing out there watching isn't a great idea. Check out the hole in the ground.

Bitter Sweet

2008-07-11T05:34:00.000-07:00

I sold my horse trailer finally, oh I need to delete that ad....anyway, bitter sweet. Very sweet having a wad of cash put in my hand but it makes it kind official. The horse thing isn't going to happen. At least not now. In 5 or 10 years it could maybe. By then I'm may feel too old and sore to care. If by the off chance i do some how pull it off eventually I'll look for a used trailer then. No sense in letting this one sit and detiorate while I'm busy doing other things. I really need to learn to manage the life I have better anyway before adding something as time comsuming as a horse to it. I'm a great planner, champ at it, following through, not so good. Like my long history of brief shit jobs when I was younger. I woke up thinking of my brother Chris, which led to thinking about shit jobs. He and i had a running contest for awhile, who could quit a job the fastest. A tie really. We both never started jobs we accepted and have both pulled up to a new job the first day and thought no, not going to happen and drove off. When I was 19 I worked at McDonalds. 2 weeks into it I asked the manager to take over my cash register for a minute and never came back. Chris once had to list 3 goals on a job application. he wrote.

1. to obtain magical powers
2. to develop a universal field theory
3. to never have anything like a real job again

What a mind and dead at 48. But what does this have to do with me selling my horse trailer?

Yard People

2008-07-03T05:25:00.000-07:00

Lots of work going on around here or rather there soon will be. Pole barn work and concrete work will commence in about 10 days. Roofers should start soon after. We need to strip the kitchen cabinets out and expose the exterior wall. Dave says we get this done and then we'll need to to do the driveway and some landscaping....he fears we may even become yard people....oh no!!! Actually, after visiting with my friend Sarah yesterday I'm inspired by her dad's gardens. We have the space to do this.

THIS IS SO COOL!

2008-06-30T04:30:00.000-07:00

Check out my new hutch! Found it on Craigslist.

T shirts I want to buy

2008-06-12T09:04:00.000-07:00

Inspired by my friend sarah to shop a bit, I found lots of great offensive T-shirts to buy on-line:

Damn It

2008-06-09T04:56:00.000-07:00

I was having the best dream and Sarah woke me up. I was going on a drive east , to see all the cool towns etc. I saw so many big cool houses, it was getting so hilly and pretty, and I was having such a good time stealing cars along the way to get me there. I'd just drive till I ran low on gas and then steal another one. Had 3/4 of a tank left on this one, but it was an old beater station wagon. Breaks weren't very good and I was looking for something better. Then all the sudden I'm in some huge apartment, like I'm living there. They never finished remodeling it though so there was no wall between my bedroom and the other tenants. I had to yell at some old lady to leave my stuff alone. Then upstairs, my friend sarah's little girl ( Fucshia) was up there playing. Mom objected but I said if she's a problem will send her home since she lived just downstairs. Then Sarah woke me up. Damn . I hate that. My best dreams are in the morning and I wanted to steal another car. One had a huge dog in it. I just took him with me. You can't get back into it, just doesn't work.

Cutest Cakes!

2008-06-06T13:57:00.000-07:00

Check this out! My friend Margot made this, is this the cutest fucking cake or what?More cakes by Margot. This chocolate one just makes my mouth water.

Monday Monday

2008-06-02T05:28:00.000-07:00

The day hasn't started off all that great considering I'm drinking coffee from stale grounds from yesterday and just pulled a tick off me. I hate those little fuckers. Good thing I'm an atheist because my idea of hell is sitting in a dentist chair covered with ticks. That's a torture technique that hasn't been tried I bet. Would work like a charm.

Has been quite the weekend. A long one really with Dave off all week. We have been working on lots of home improvement. Well not so much improvement but clean the hell up. House looks a lot better , outside is getting there, slowly but surely. We have a lot of hail damage from last weeks storms and may end up with a new roof and siding. Too bad about the roof because it's only a few years old. We had already redone the siding on the garage as prcatice and we'll do the front of the house like that, river rock at the bottom and log looking siding on top. Looks very nice I think minus all the crap in front of the garage. Then Dave wants to build a little entry vestibule. We've been want to do this but would have to tie it into the exsisting roof. So if it has to be replaced , now is the time to do it. We also want to add a second story deck that would replace how it looks now and would look like this:

We'll see how much actually gets done this year. I have been working on a childcare brochure. We'll spend June cleaning up more and then I'll advertise. Busy busy summer. Dave worked 4 solid days to get our garden in. Tilled , manured, planted mulched, and finished putting chickenwire around it. had to push him to finish . I felt bad because he had already worked his ass off. But he is the king of unfinished projects. last year we got it almost doen and it sat for a week. Long enough for the rabbits to eat everything in site. Not this year. So much done, but much still to do. Today is Dave's birthday so any work won't happen.

Had a great bonfire party with old friends Saturday. Weather was weird. They had predicted storms so I was checking the radar once in a while. At one point everyone was here and there were tornado warnings right near us but heading north of us. Never even sprinkled. Then much later without warning the sky just opened up, poured while we all huddled in the gazebo. Didn't last long though, cleared up, we stoked up the fire , dreid the chairs and resumed our bonfire. Then the sirens went off. Idiots. We had a very good time. Guys brought theie guitars and jammed, ate lots, laughed lots, was very fun.

Crazy or what?

2008-05-27T11:08:00.000-07:00

So I've been all excited about the possibility of buying this land. Our neighbors are selling their property and moving, trying to split their property and selling it as 2 seperate ones. We want to buy the back half, it would add 2 acres(1/2 oak woods), a small horse barn, fenced garden and a rental cottage. I have been day dreaming and brainstroming over the possibilities. I even created a second blog you're welcome to check out. Mostly found pictures of ideas, some possible, some off the wall, some actual pictures of what's there or improvements already made. Check it out if you want. (click my blog link in my profile) However, this moring it just came to me..."oh we're not going to get it". Nothing has changed. It was just a sudden overwhelming realization. Not an ,oh no upset feeling", just kind of a "oh this isn't going to happen". I wonder why. My usually quite good intuition? Random doom and gloom thought that has nothing to do with reality?We'll see I guess. Still going to go for it, and I really hope I'm wrong. I just have this nagging feeling I had better get excited about a plan B.

2008-05-25T15:55:00.000-07:00

Storm

2008-05-25T15:49:00.000-07:00

We got nailed:

Bonfire

2008-05-22T03:31:00.000-07:00

This weekend I hope to have what is my first annual girls party while the guys are canoeing. Weather looks promising, there's a chance of storms but slim. All 3 girls have colds so a relaxing weekend maybe be difficult but I'm going to try.

I think I have another tooth going bad. No matter how careful I am , they fall apart. Yesterday and today I have noticed what I think is horrible breath I can't get rid of. Kind of hard to smell your own breath. I'll ask Emily , she'll tell me the truth. Does mommy's mouth stink like something died honey? Aren't you thrilled to be reading this? I tell you though , the whole dental thing is proof to me there's no devine plan in all this. What's up with that? I'll even brush with mouthwash and a little while later there it is. Nothing up my nose or anything. My friend Beth had this problem with her little boy once. I very bad smell. Turned out he had stuffed a piece of foam from a couch up his nose and it rotted up there. I haven't done that, so likely a tooth.

Yard Sale Season Has Arrived!

2008-05-15T04:27:00.000-07:00

Woohoo, yardsales today! Should be quite a few out there today. It's a pain taking the girls , dragging them in and out of the car seats but worth it sometimes. I have got to loose wight though. I found the cutest shirt last week, got it home and I can't wear it. Red sleeveless blouse with a straight kind of asian collar, buttom down the front with round cloth bottons. Very pretty , dirt cheap and too little. Week before I found a brand new pair of levis for cheap "my size" Got them home and they're not my size any more. Fuck. Guess it's not much of a savings if you can't use them. It would only take about 10 pounds though so I'll keep them. I'm mainly looking for clothes for Sarah and Emily. Sarah still needs some shorts for her trip, and Emily needs the next size. Maybe some shorts. I usually get too big stuff for Emily when I see them cheap. She always has a drawer of cute things to grow into. Alison can just wear Emily's hand me downs. I never buy her anything.

Also searching for college $ for both me and Sarah. Any cash we come up with is going to go towards Sarah's but I'm going to try to get back in , online at least and see how far I can get. There's something called the Arlis grant that will pay for one class and books for a returning student. I'm pretty close to an Associates but would like to keep going if i could find the funds. I'm going to investigate that. I don't know if you have to take it on campus to qualify or what. The homeschooling is going well, and hopefully I can contiue it with no problems. However if i were to work on my degree while Alison is little , I'd be in better shape to get some kind of descent job if I the need arises down the road. Who knows what will happen. If i could get scholoarships or grants enough to finish I'll do it. Sarah on the otherhand really has no choice if she wants a life of any quality. Kids now days have to have a college degree or they're fucked. So that's top priority. We can help her some but as much as she would like it to be different , we can't just fork over 12k a year for her education. It's just not there. I'm still paying on old student loads. You never get anywhere but the interest pays so I don't want to take any more out. It's finacial suicide for any future $. We'll see.

Much Needed Relief

2008-05-14T04:28:00.000-07:00

It's over Alison is fine. What a fucking day. I hope I never have one like that as long as I live. So much waiting and Alison being poked and proded , then the surgery. I was surprised how quickly she went under, that they could do it that fast. Then we wait and wait. She had fillings and caps , and and tissue cut from the roof of her mouth. The caps kind of look like chicklets since the gums haven't healed. They had to go way up into them to get the whole tooth capped.Doesn't look too horrible. It was like so many scenes from movies I've seen, waiting frnatically in some stupid room until the surgeon comes out to tell what happened. Surreal. The worst part was during her recovery. I was going absolutely nuts waiting to get back there. Just pissed me off. The whole point of holding her when she was going under was so she wouldn't be scared without her mama. Well why do they have terrify her when it's over? I'm sure it's in case something goes wrong they don't want parents back there, but still. She was awake in pain in a strange place, with strange people and her mama gone for well over 1/2 an hour. She must have been SO scared. It took a long time to calm her down once I was allowed back. She was trying to crawl off my lap and leave. Can't blame her. Get me the fuck out of here . Poor baby. People are so stupid. Another mom there I was chatting with a bit. Going through the same thing for a fucking circumcision. I can not imagine putting my child through that so his dick looks a little prettier. What the hell is wrong with people? It's over though and hopefully we won't have any more dental issues with her babay teeth. She had a pretty good night when we got home. Swelling went down and she only had a slight fever. Her throat is sore you can tell but she seems to be bouncing back quickly.

Today we can recover and tomorrow it's back to busy busy. Errands to run, school conference for Sarah, much to do.

I also got my tests results back and everything came back normal. I'm glad I don't have some fucking weird thing that I'd have to have surgery for, and potentially life threatening. A relief for sure. However, I'm back at square one to what the fuck is going on and why I'm feeling this way. You can't win.

Stress Continues

2008-05-12T05:39:00.000-07:00

This weekends relaxing was a welcome relief but now it's back to reality. Tomorrow Alison has her dental surgery. I'm trying to figure out how not to worry and be calm and casual for the girls sake. Inside I'm screaming though. I made it clear I expect to be in there and holding her until she's out. Thats fine but they asked if I had ever watched before. No. Expect crying , fighting, and irregular breathing, great. As long as she lives through it with no brain damage. Yeah I know the chances are slim but it does happen. I'm old enough,knowlegable and exsperienced enough to know bad things don't just happen to other people. Chances are she'll be fine, but I want to KNOW %100 that she'll be ok. They can't give me that, so I'll be nervous until this is over. If I smile, act casual , do everything right, I don't think it will be enough. Babies pick up on these things. If I'm nervous I'm afraid she'll know it. Nothing I can do. I'm not the type to get hysterical but she's smart. She's going to know somethings up.

At the same time, I'm still waiting for my test results. The nurse told me Friday and I don't have them yet. Shit. It will probably be negative, but you never know. I have always hated waiting in general and this is no different.

Guess this rambling makes me sound like more of a basket case then I am. I'm fine really.This too shall pass as they say. Just sucks and I fucking hate it. Alison is not going to be happy tomorrow morning. I can give her clear liguids up until 8:30 and thats it. She's a good eater and is going to be hungery and crabby. Hopefully that will be the hardest part on her.

Lots to do today around here since tomorrow is going to be busy. I don't feel like cleaning! Oh well , carpets aren't suppose to crunch so I had better get busy. Ick....

I'm Cured!

2008-05-11T14:16:00.001-07:00

Well maybe not, but I sure feel a lot better!

Here's to celebrating Mother's Day right. Cheers!

M = Maternity/Paternity Leave: Paid family leave for all parents after a new child comes into the family.
O = Open Flexible Work: Give parents the ability to structure their work hours and careers in a way that allows them to meet both business and family needs. This includes flexible work hours and locations, part-time work options, as well as the ability to move in and out of the labor force to raise young children without penalties.
T = TV We Choose and Other After School Programs: Give families safe, educational opportunities for children after the school doors close for the day, including: Create a clear and independent universal television rating system for parents with technology that allows them to choose what is showing in their own homes; support quality educational programming for kids; increase access to, and funding for, after-school programs.
H = Healthcare for All Kids: Provide quality, universal healthcare to all children.
E = Excellent Childcare: Quality, affordable childcare should be available to all parents who need it. Childcare providers should be paid at least a living wage and healthcare benefits.
R = Realistic and Fair Wages: Two full-time working parents should be able to earn enough to adequately care for their children. Equal wages for equal work.

From Momsrising.....sounds good to me

Troubleshooting

2008-05-09T05:11:00.000-07:00

So today I'm suppose to get the results of my test for pheochromocytoma. I don't think that's what is going on. I guess I'd kind of like a positive result to know the cause of this shit but after reading up on it I don't think so. Seems people with this have hypertension episodes that there bp shoots up way high, like 225/180 or something. Mine has been high but nothing like that, and medications do control it. Guess it's possible I have a milder, early detected case but I think not. Should know soon. But if it is neg. like I suspect where does that leave me? There's only so many things that cause this paresthesia( tingling crap) I've researched the endocrine disorders and nothing fits. Back issues have been ruled out. That leaves hormonal, toxins or neurological.

The only toxins I have in me are cigarettes and copper from the IUD( besides all the crap in the environment and in food I have no control over) I'll have to quit smoking to rule that out but it doesn't seem logical that I would suddenly have this reaction to it. Furthermore if it was from smoking I should feel my best in the morning when nicotine levels are low and I haven't had one yet. This begins the moment I roll over. I suppose it could just be poor circulation from smoking, but to suddenly have these symptoms just doesn't make sense to me.

I looked up copper and that doesn't cause this, mercury or arsenic do., but I don't think the little bit of mercury in my dental work could be doing this and as far as I know no one is trying to poison me...ha ha ha. So that's not it.

It could also be hormonal. I was using the natural progesterone cream years ago because i was having trouble. No periods, menopause symptoms etc. I started using that and it straighten things out enough not only did I start cycling again I got pregnant with Alison.

Just rambling troubleshooting out loud (sort of) so go read something else if you want to hear something interesting...

So anyway, I'm going to have to start there. See if I can straighten this out myself. It's possible it could be some neurological thing, but I refuse to do anything about that, refuse to be a guiena pig and go through a bunch of stupid tests , or take some medication that does God know what so they can avoid malpractice. No thank you. So there it is. I sit here tingling, episodes all day of sweaty, tingles, dizzy icky feeling , and no real answers. I'm tired of feeling like shit every day of my life. Sucks.

I Fucking Hate People

2008-05-08T13:32:00.000-07:00

Idiots, fucking idiots everywhere you go. Today I had an appointment with an eye specialist. I have this stupid cyst on my bottom eyelid I need to have removed. So I go in there in March. The only person that can help me supposedly only comes in monthly. So I schedule and April appointment. I had to reschedule that because of some conflicting appointment one of the girls had. Anyway, they rescheduled it for today at 2:00 with some certain doc. Well I get there and I had an appointmebt scheduled with a completely different doctor at 3:15. So I had to deal with both little girls in this waiting forever, went ahead and waited because they said they would have to dilate my eyes anyway and could go ahead and do that. Fine so I wait. finally I get in the . Well the doctor I saw was a retna specialist. I need a fucking plastic surgeon. Fucking idiots. So now it turns out the plastic surgeon dude is only there monthly. I can't go for the May time slot because that conflicts with something else. So now my fucking consultation isn't until June 26th. Jesus Christ. it will be July at least before I have this damn thing removed. It doesn't hurt but it's ugly as hell. It's like having a pencil eraser stuck on the buttom of your eye. Vert attractive. I went to the eye doctor about in February, fucking idiots. My eyes are still dilated and driving home just sucked. Did I mention I hate people?

Mom vs. Mom Crappola

2008-05-08T10:38:00.000-07:00

Going around the internet again are salary comparisons..what stay at moms would make if paid for their work. mine figured out to around 90k a year. The thing is it doesn't matter. I am so sick of this mom vs. mom crap. I stay at home, I want to, I need to for myself and my children. I don't think much of the public schools and want to educate my children myself. That doesn't mean thats the right choice for everyone.However, I quit college and don't have the career I thought I would at this stage in my life. I do feel it is best for us for me to stay home. However, thats not to say its best for all Moms and for all children to be at home all the time. Things need to change in this fucked up country so Moms can take care of their children in the manner that is right for their family. I think there needs to be huge tax breaks for Moms staying home. There also needs to be paid maternity leave for Moms who have careers they've spent years building and don't want to leave permenantly. I research paid maternity leaves around the world and it makes me sick:

Sweden -18 months
Ireland-6 1/2 months
Denmark-1 year
Italy -5 months
Balgaria-2 years
Canada-35 weeks
Norway-1 year
Finland-3 months
Spain 16 weeks
USA- you guessed it fucking 0

Many countires also have huge tax breaks for new parents, paid child care after 3 years old, options of unpaid leave for both parents for up to 36 months. Also many countries have paid child care for preschoolers. It goes on and on and it sucks here. Its not a question of who is the better mom , the working outside or the stay at home mom. Every Mom is different, every child, every family, and every circumstance. We need to be able to make the choice that is best for us, our children and families without finacial hardships. Women need to come together, knock some sense into the male minds and demand our roles as mothers be respected and compensated financially whatever path we choose.

Ok, I can hear people. "But then taxes go up, its still just as bad, get with one hand but taken from the other." Theres a simple solution to all this. Legalize marijuana, tax the shit out of it and fund social programs. End of problem. It ain't that hard to figure out.

Near Miss ...etc..

2008-05-08T05:24:00.001-07:00

Last night I was looking for the horse file in our big mega file cabinet . Emily was spinning Alison on the computer chair. So I stop that, Alison gets down, dizzy and runs into the side of the desk. She was fine but as I look at her I let go of the file cabinet drawer it came crashing out onto the floor. Damn safety stop broke and the whole thing flies out of there. Caught my leg on the way down and scraped it all up but luckily didn't hit the girls. Could've have been a serious injury. That thing is fucking heavy. Dave's immediate reaction was I did something wrong, male. No I didn't lift it up. He puts it back and "shows" me how it will stop on it's own. But it didn't stop, it came racing out again. See. I'm not stupid, It's broken, male. So now the heavy broken drawer is on the bottom.